:: Boy In Corner ::

:: Wednesday, April 30, 2003 ::

Musings As My Friends Drink in the Sun

The utter madness of Spring Break in Rosarito, Mexico.
Surrounded by utter poverty, we frolick amongst cheap liquor, bikinis, and an economy that relies on our greed.
My heart clenches everytime a small child tugs on my boardshorts and holds out chiklets.
We're all absorbed in our own hedonistic pleasures to even give it a second thought,
We try and find the most attractive person we can hook up with, while batting off those deemed too
Ugly, fat, scrawny, and generally unpleasing to the eye.
Hormones flow as the liquor does,
And I am swept up in all of this.
Yet I know its only a temporary fix,
A shot of morphine to hide the pain; to mask it.
I drink, I fantasize about the outwardly beautiful women that I can never have.
And I can't stop, as like a shark in a moment's pause,
The grief of the world drowns me again.
War. Poverty. Racism. Hatred. Greed.
And my smile drops; falters for a second.
And I'm frightened of being discovered.
But everyone else is so self-absorbed, I need not hide.
And all this time as I debate the morality, maturity, necessity of it all,
In the back of my mind, confusion about love lurks.
The love of my life; a girl I was ready to marry; a best friend,
Grows farther apart with each drop of sand in the hourglass.
A good friend; a hook-up; an actress, who may or may not be manipulating me; draws me closer and closer
with every encounter.
And if I lose both girls, doubts of love and loneliness nip at my psyche.
Now Green Day plays on the pool-side loudspeaker,
we order another drink from the waiter
and another beauty emerges to sunbathe.
so it goes.
Nothing left to say, but..
"Cheers!"

:: Rick Kitagawa 3:14 PM [+] ::
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