:: Boy In Corner ::

:: Tuesday, July 22, 2003 ::

Complications

I am lost.
My illusions of holding things together is starting to fade.
I apologize, but it means nothing, but it means something to me.
Why does saying I'm sorry lose meaning because I say it so much?
Perhaps I'm just very apologetic for being a total fuck up.

My morals slide down the drain as I face
The cold,wet slap in the face of
Looking into who I am,
And seeing what I've done.

I don't expect pity.
I don't expect you to understand.
I don't expect you to really even know where I'm coming from.
I don't expect a call.
I don't expect a hug.

I feel so alone.

And as I watch a great tree burn up in the harsh night,
I reach out into the darkness and I find empty space.
There is no breeze tonight.
And the tears get caught up in my throat.

I realize I know less about myself than I thought,
I realize I am just as bad as all those I try to battle against.
And the realization brings me crashing down.

Whirlwinds of various punishments yet unknown to me
Whip about my mind,
Tearing scars with painful fury into my soul with each passing minute.
And I fear I only have a few days left.

How do I live? What do I do? Who do I turn to?
And even if nothing's wrong,
Shouldn't we be asking ourselves these questions every day?
Shouldn't we be living our lives as if we only had a few days left?

Change comes too fast.
Unexpected.
Unwarrented.
Unwelcomed.
But it will come nevertheless, and there is only so much you can do.

And as the sun starts to rise,
And the dark shadow over my heart still stays with me,
I choke down the urge to bleed salt,
And all I can do is wait.

:: Rick Kitagawa 8:53 AM [+] ::
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