:: Boy In Corner ::

Hmmm, interesting? Perhaps. Sexy? Perhaps. Stupid? Perhaps. About Poetry and Rick? I'd say yes. If you want my journal of some sorts, visit "My Website" below and then go my message board. Have fun with my Rants (aka journal entries). If you want poetry however... here it is. PS - I recently posted some old poetry, and will probably be doing more of the like, so don't think that everything applies to my life right now.

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:: Monday, September 06, 2004 ::

Here's a funny piece that I have added to my Slam arsenal.

Between my lack of a job, 2 F’s on my transcript, running a theatre group, my parent’s divorce, George W. Bush, homophobia, sexism, and racism, and all the other fucked up shit in the world, you would think that I’m a little bit…stressed out.

But I’m not. “How?” you ask? “What’s your secret?” you ask? Well, I shall tell you. The secret is……masturbation

That’s right, masturbation. The act of stimulating my own genitals until I orgasm. Masturbation, spanking the monkey, choking the chicken, flogging the dolphin, stroking the snake, or whatever YOU want to call it, I like it. No, I LOVE it.

And it’s healthy for you too! Studies show that knocking one off daily reduces your chance of prostate cancer. Then theoretically, I should be 4 times as healthy as your average pocket-pool players.

Not only is jerking off good for your p-spot, but orgasms help you relax, and make you happy, so masturbation is the cure for being stressed out.

Taking a test in an hour that you haven’t studied for? Jack off.

Car break down on the side of the road? Jack off.

2 papers due the same day? Jack off. Twice.

Make out with that amazing hottie only to have them leave you sexless?

Jack off. Watch some porn. Then jack off again.

And speaking of amazing hotties, jacking off helps a man’s staying power in bed. And Jilling off increases the likelihood that a woman will climax with a partner. Yeah buddy. It’s a win-win situation. Heck, it can even change the world.

If everyone would take a few more minutes out of their day to masturbate, the world would be a better place. Think about it: if everyone is happy and horny, who would want to go fight in wars? Hell, if I was President, and I polished my bishop half as much as I do now, I could give a shit if we invade other countries. If I was pissed off at a country, I’d just…I’d just….jizz on pictures of their foreign ministers. Yeah. Especially if they are hot chicks. Yeah….

SO!

What do you do if you’re stressed out? Jack off.

What do you do when you lose your job? Jack off.

What do you do when a pigeon shits on your head? Jack off.

And what do you do if you’re over 18, female, attractive, single, and sexually frustrated? Call me.

:: Rick Kitagawa 7:55 PM [+] ::
...

Comments:

amen.

# posted by

Anonymous : 3:03 AM