:: Boy In Corner ::

:: Sunday, July 10, 2005 ::

Ooof. A month without posting anything new here. Sorry people. Anyway, here's more of a free write than anything, but whatever:

And I can't help feel that dreaded familiar feeling again, ash smudges in the corner of my heart. And I'm worried.
Worried that when I've finally escaped my past perhaps yours is catching up to you.
I know the future is scary and we both have our own issues to deal with, but when you love someone you don't give up this easy.
I'm scared.
Scared you'll push me away just when things are getting going, cutting me off like some symbiote before we become one.
And I don't know what I can do or say when you need your time to yourself,
And I don't know what I need to do to prove to you that I can't get anything better than you,
And I don't know what there is left to do besides just wait and hope that you won't end things.

I'm standing on the rooftop burning my lungs with the words that I'm screaming,
While I want is for things to be back where they were two days ago.
Leave it to me to underestimate what one argument can do.

I don't even know what to write anymore. I can't express the systematic alienation I place on myself every time I feel the impending doom of the break-up. This happens again and again. The fucking period of space, the distance, the sadness in their voice. And the worst part is that when you love someone, you fight for them, and then when it's really over you realize that all the fighting was just making it more painful. But nevertheless, you still fight.
I'll still fight.

:: Rick Kitagawa 8:39 PM [+] ::
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